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- Make sure you have the right kit, meaning enough food and essential supplies, but not too much, so that you can limit your trips to the store.Just like no one likes to carry around heavy bags (e.g. diaper bags, tote bags, gym bags, handbags, work bags, backpacks), we do not need a ton of supplies to get through the current pandemic. There is a balance between too much and forgetting something that is really important.Think about it before you start stocking up.
- Get accurate and factual news and only once or twice a day.Choose the most factual and least drama filled news source and check in once in the morning and once in the evening.You do not want to check out all together because there are essential and helpful resources to be found locally and nationally from the news sources.On the other hand, you definitely do not want to watch coverage all day long that is filled with speculation and opinions.
- Break the weeks into smaller chunks and set small goals that you meet every day. Try not to think long term about something you have no control over because that will only overwhelm you. Small goals each day that are within your control are what you should aim for.
- Buddy up with someone who is in a similar position as you, but if that person starts to get too anxious, pull away so they do not pull you down with them.
- Give help where needed and often.This is the best way to overcome anxieties.But, do not get bogged down trying to help someone that you are not able to help.You are only qualified and able to do so much for others.Respect your limitations.You may only be able to listen and that’s ok.
- Accept that this is not fun.This, like any pain, hurts.Expect the expected.Do not fear it.You have been through times that hurt before and that you may have thought was the end of the world (remember that girl or boy in 7th grade that broke up with you?You DID survive that even though you thought the pain would never go away), but this too will end.Don’t fear it.It will end.
- When you think it can’t get any worse, know that it probably will, but that it will end and you have done this before.Lean on all the other crappy times you have been through and survived and moved on.
- Schedule your day.Get up at the same time and go to sleep at the same time.Make sure to meet the mini goals you set the day before.
- If you start to feel panic, try this breathing exercise to get control of your emotions:
- In a relaxed position, elongate your body.
- Place one hand on your diaphragm.
- Place your tongue on the roof of your mouth against the back of your top teeth.
- Breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of 4, hold for a count of 2 and exhale through your nose for a count of 4.
- Focus your attention on your breath and your counting.
- Let the panic and tension escape with the exhalation.
- Do this repeatedly, even if only for a few minutes, throughout the day.
- If others start to cause you anxiety, shift your focus to something else like how your nose feels on your face, or what the smell in the air is, how your feet feel or reciting the alphabet backwards. I know this sounds funny, but the goal is to re-shift your focus away from anxiety.
- Take time to appreciate where you are and what you have.Somebody has to be great today – it might as well be you.
- Lastly, if you need help, ask for it.You do not need to be a hero at great cost to you and your family. If your anxiety to too much to handle, seek help from a mental health specialist.If you are suffering domestic violence, call the police.If you cannot pay your bills, seek out information on how to defer your expenses.Ask for help if you need it.You are not alone.
At the Law Offices of Elaine Stypula, we are dedicated to helping our clients navigate divorce successfully. Contact us at (248) 565-3800 to see how we can serve you.